


Never More

by melodycanta



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: Canon Divergence, Friendship, M/M, Tokioto if you squint really hard, Written as if Haruka chose Tokiya for the final duet project
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-18 16:45:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17584535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melodycanta/pseuds/melodycanta
Summary: "Life gets better; don't you forget that.  And when you're unsure, remember my words, never more." -- Never More, cover by Sapphire.Haruka chooses Tokiya to be her final duet partner at Saotome Academy.  It has repercussions for Otoya.





	Never More

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lana_Fair](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lana_Fair/gifts).



> Quick thing that I wrote, no editing so there's probably a ton of mistakes, but I've had this idea in my head for a couple of days and wanted to get it down. 
> 
> It was inspired by Never More from Persona 4, as hinted at by the quote in the summary.

Otoya licks the envelope, grimaces at the bitter taste of adhesive, and then closes the flap. It’s all finally over, and what a journey it’s been. His time at Saotome Academy has meant the world to him, quite honestly. It’s made him into a better musician, shown him what it means to be a better person, and taught him that his dreams are worth fighting for.

Unfortunately, it’s also told him that his dreams can end too, because here is the end of the road.

He chose Haruka to be his partner for the final duet project, and at the end of the day, she chose Tokiya. He can’t blame her. Tokiya is talented and incredible and he was the one who inspired her to create music as HAYATO. He can’t even imagine what it feels like to meet your idol, let alone getting the chance to work with them. She made the best choice for her, just as Otoya had made the best choice for himself. It’s unfortunate that they didn’t align, but at the end of the day, her dream is continuing on, and he wishes her the best.

It hurts, of course. There’s a part of him that feels the sting of rejection acutely, something akin to how he felt every time a set of prospective parents came in and chose another kid to adopt. At some point, he’ll break down and cry his feelings out, but he’s been too busy to let himself do it for now. He caught wind of the decision early, and he doesn’t want to be here, in their shared dorm room, when Tokiya comes home. He’s not even sure what his roommate will do. Will he be cocky and lord his victory over his rival, or will he apologize for taking what he might have perceived to be Otoya’s spot? The latter would be the worst, he thinks. Tokiya deserves a chance at a new debut more than anyone he knows. He’s almost killed himself over this, worked himself to the bone, pushed himself farther than any one of them. He deserves to be happy and have hope for the future. And that’s why Otoya has to be out of their room before he gets back, because even a moment of unhappiness is too much.

He lays the envelope on Tokiya’s neatly-made bed, settling it onto the pillow. With any luck, Tokiya will actually sleep tonight, so he’ll see it, but he’ll find it eventually if he doesn’t. Very few things get lost permanently in his care.

This has been the best year of his life, he thinks as he takes one final look around the room. He’s not sure what life has in store for him now, or really, where he’s even going to go now, but one thing is for sure: he just has to keep moving. 

If he can’t be Tokiya Ichinose’s rival, then he’ll be sure to keep supporting him from afar as his most avid fan.

 

The last twenty-four hours have been a whirlwind of activity for Tokiya, and honestly, he just needs a moment to breathe and get his head back on straight. He’s gone from revealing his goofy alter ego to everyone to choosing his duet partner—believing she would never choose him back anyways—to realizing that she did choose him and he has one last shot at his debut as Tokiya Ichinose and then, finally, to the practice rooms so they could start hashing out a new song. He’s not even sure that any of the last twenty-four hours has been real. There’s a strange dreamlike quality to them, like at any moment he could wake up and the spell could be broken.

The dorm is empty when he unlocks the door, and he can tell that because Otoya in any capacity makes noise. He is not a silent person, whether he’s tapping a pencil on the desk as he studies or strumming his guitar or even just humming to himself as he stares at the ceiling. A silent Otoya would be a definite cause for concern, and it hits him just a second too late that there might actually be a problem. He knows Otoya chose Haruka for his duet partner too, and if she chose him, that means that Tokiya has taken his chance to debut.

He couldn’t blame Otoya for hating him right now.

He steadies himself with a deep breath, ready for the onslaught that could face him on the other side of the door, but what he finds is even worse.

The clutter that has always taken up one side of their shared room is gone. Otoya moved in first, so Tokiya has never seen the room like this, with the sheets stripped and the carpet bare, the desk devoid of any items. It feels so wrong to be able to see the corner of the room where Otoya’s guitar has resided for the last year. 

Something inside of him aches. It’s like he’s lost something that he didn’t even know he had, but as he grabs at his chest and tries to figure it out, he spots the envelope on his pillow and keeps one shred of hope that this is all a misunderstanding. Otoya hasn’t disappeared from his life; after all, he’s left a note, just as they promised to do to keep the other informed. They always leave each other notes, Otoya writing “good morning!” with a little music note with a face that he mysteriously seems to draw on everything and Tokiya’s purple post-it notes with his schedule and reminders of their homework and chores. This is a little different from his Piyo-chan stationary pad that Natsuki got him for Christmas, but it’s still a note.

Just in case, he perches on his bed as he slides his finger between the envelope flap and the body. 

Inside is a piece of notebook paper, as nondescript as the lined paper they wrote on during classes. It’s folded into quarters and then halves, the corners not quite matching up, but it still fits in the envelope. The amount of writing inside when he unfolds it is a lot more than “hey, just went to the store and for some reason took all of my stuff; be back soon!”, and he can’t help the dread that brews in the pit of his stomach.

_‘Tokiya,_

_‘Congratulations! I know you’ll do wonderful. If I had to lose to someone, I’m glad it was you. You’ll take this chance and do amazing things with it. You won’t squander the chance like I probably would have. And with your voice and Haruka’s music, there’s no way you won’t become successful. So, here’s your second chance, just like you wanted! Work hard, and people will forget about HAYATO in no time!_

_‘I’m sure there will be times when it’s hard. Chasing your dreams is hard sometimes. It takes a lot out of someone to run towards the future, with how uncertain it is. Sometimes you may even want to give up. I know you wanted to give up a lot this year, and in hindsight, I understand why. But if you could get through that, you can get through anything._

_‘Life gets better. And when things seem dark and you lose hope, I hope you can remember these words. I believe in you, Tokiya Ichinose. You’re not just carrying your dreams with you; you’re carrying mine now too, so don’t let me down!_

_‘You’re not alone. And I hope we meet again someday, because you’re not only my rival. You’re my friend._

_‘Thank you for everything._

_‘Otoya Ittoki.’_

Tokiya bites down on his tongue, hard. The aching in his chest has only intensified, and for a moment, he feels like he’s lost more than he’s gained. He’d gotten his second chance, but at what cost? Otoya is gone, not having even stuck around to say goodbye, and it doesn’t feel right. None of this feels right.

Otoya Ittoki is loud and brash and everything Tokiya hates in a person. He’s horrifically optimistic, to the point of false cheer. He’s messy and hasn’t figured out what tidying up means, even at the age of sixteen. He eats more junk than any normal person could ever consume, he injects himself into conversations and situations where he’s clearly not wanted, and he has no idea what proper conversation consists of. But despite all of that, he’s the entire reason Tokiya is here right now. Otoya gave him pep talk after pep talk, refused to let him quit after he was demoted to A Class, plied him with dinner and made him take naps to recharge during his breaks. It’s Otoya who gave him something to work towards, with the stupid way he called Tokiya his rival, despite their obvious skill differences. Otoya has talent in spades, and yet, Tokiya is the one sitting here with the second chance rather than Otoya getting his first.

He grabs his phone. _‘Where are you?’_ he quickly texts.

Otoya’s reply is immediate. _‘why’_

_‘Haruka gave me something to give to you, but I don’t want to walk all the way to our room if you’re somewhere else.’_ He figures it’s safest to pretend he hasn’t come back yet and read Otoya’s letter. If he wanted to see Tokiya, he would have said it in person.

Too bad for him that Tokiya has things he wants to say in person instead.

There’s a moment of silence, and for a moment, he thinks Otoya might not take the bait, but his phone dings a few minutes later. _‘im by the fountain behind the library’_ is the response. 

Tokiya realizes that means he’s not away from the campus yet, and his heart thumps for the first time since he walked in their room.

He still has a chance.

He stuffs the letter in the inside pocket of his blazer and grabs his keys. He’ll have one shot at this, and the longer he waits, the less of a shot he’ll have.

He knows this is stupid. He’s jeopardizing everything he has for a roommate that he lies to himself that he can barely tolerate. But he has to try.

Otoya is sitting on the bench in front of the fountain with two suitcases and his guitar case beside him, and Tokiya knows he must be hurting if he’s not playing his guitar out here in the open air. Instead, he is staring down at his hands, knee bouncing up and down as if to release any excess energy.

“Otoya,” Tokiya says, and his head snaps up.

The expression on his face is careful, schooled into a mask of cheer, but Tokiya knows what must be underneath it. “Hey, Tokiya!” He must notice how Tokiya keeps glancing at the luggage, because he grins widely and says, “Ren said I could go to his house in Yokohama with him! I’ve never been to Yokohama, so I probably overpacked, but . . .”

“No.” He knows he should have rehearsed something on the way over here, like how Otoya can’t give up now or reassurances that there are other ways to become an idol, but now that he’s here, he can’t think of anything other than blatant refusal. “You can’t go.”

“Tokiya?”

His eyes are burning, and he hates himself a little bit right now, but he pulls the letter from his jacket and thrusts it back at Otoya. “You’re not going anywhere. I won’t let you.”

There is shock written all over Otoya’s face, and his dropped jaw finally works out Tokiya’s name, but he can’t seem to form words either.

“You can’t give up. You’re my rival, and I need you. So you can’t go.” There’s a giant lump in his throat that he keeps trying to swallow, but it’s growing so big that it’s almost hard to breathe. He stares at Otoya and hopes there’s something in his expression that can convince him, because the words aren’t coming. 

Otoya’s eyelids flutter as he looks away. “Look, Tokiya . . . I’m not a good rival to you. You’re going to go on to do great things. You’ll find someone who is a better rival in the industry, who when you surpass them, it means something. I’m just . . . not that person.”

Tokiya grabs him by the shoulders, and that makes Otoya look up at him. “We’re not done! I haven’t beaten you yet; Nanami-san chose me, but that was never a fair fight to begin with. I want to beat you fair and square.” _I want you to keep pushing me to be better, the way you always have,_ he wants to say, but his pride won’t let him. 

“Well, unfortunately, you won’t have that chance. You’re going to go on to debut and I’ve failed the duet project.” Otoya lets out a nervous chuckle at that and scratches his head. 

“I won’t debut if you’re not going to.”

The words are out there, and Tokiya almost wants to take them back, because he knows how risky this is. Even if Otoya agrees, Shining Saotome probably won’t, and then they’re both out of their dreams. Everything that Tokiya has worked for will have gone up in smoke, all for this moment.

“Y—you’re not serious,” Otoya stutters.

“I am. Either we debut as a unit or neither of us debuts at all.” He’s pleased at how steady his voice is, because it sounds a lot more confident than he feels.

“Tokiya, this is your second chance. You can’t blow it for me—”

“A good rival pushes you forward to do your best, and without that, I might as well not even take the chance. I’ll just go back down the same rabbit hole that I was as HAYATO and burn out in a few more years.”

“Nanami won’t let you.”

“She won’t be able to stop me.”

A flicker of genuine anger crosses Otoya’s face, and Tokiya puzzles over it for just a moment before Otoya punches him. “How the hell can you just throw all of this away?” he asks.

Tokiya makes a mental note that Otoya’s right hook is good enough to make him see stars. “Being an idol is about sharing yourself with the world, and I’m not ready to do that alone. And before you say Nanami-san is with me . . . she’s not going to stand on stage with me and make sure I pour my heart and soul into it.”

“You’re being stupid. When’s the last time you didn’t pour your heart and soul into something?”

“Every time I lost sight of what was important.” He’s not sure what throws Otoya off guard, whether it’s the speed of his answer or what the answer itself is, but Otoya takes a step back. “And every time I lost sight of that, you were there reminding me.”

“Tokiya—”

“So now I’m here, reminding you what’s important. My second chance isn’t it. Making the best music I can is. And I have Nanami-san, but I need someone who is going to punch me when I’m being stupid.” Tokiya can’t help his wry smile. “I need my rival.”

“And how are you going to—”

“—let me deal with the how. I’m not alone, remember?” He has an idea, but that’s not important right now. “Are you in?”

Otoya looks at him for a long moment, and then nods. “You’d better not regret this.”

The tightness in Tokiya’s chest immediately loosens. “I won’t,” he promises. In that letter, Otoya gave him something important, and he’s not going to let it go to waste. 

_‘When things seem dark and you lose hope, I hope you can remember these words. I believe in you, Tokiya Ichinose. You’re not just carrying your dreams with you; you’re carrying mine now too, so don’t let me down!’_

Otoya might have the letter in his hands right now, but Tokiya can remember those words like they’re burned across the inside of his eyelids. He carries Otoya’s dreams with him now too, and if that means he has to fight for both of them, he will, because he knows Otoya already has.

“Now, come on. You have some unpacking to do,” he says, grabbing one of Otoya’s suitcases.

For a moment, he thinks Otoya is going to protest, but a slow smile spreads across his face. “Of course, you take the light one,” he teases, and Tokiya knows they’ll be alright.


End file.
